Leash on happiness. What a small dog on a leash can teach us about human connections

Have you ever noticed how small dogs behave when they are on a leash? They are often transformed into fearless beasts ready to conquer the world. When a larger dog comes around, they are ready to jump at them and rip them apart. However, when the owner lets them go free, the same encounter results in the smaller dogs hiding behind the owner’s legs. Why is that? And what does it tell us about the human experience?

Having a life accompanied by animals, Peter Popper, the esteemed Hungarian psychologist, once remarked that the leash forms an emotional link between the owner and the dog. It empowers the animal as they feel that they are part of something larger. Popper suggested that the leash is analogous to human connections that are a vital part of our existence. Building on his analogy, I set out to have a closer look at the phenomenon and investigate what it may tell us about the human experience.

Life without a leash is unbearable

If the Covid experience taught us something is just how valuable our friendships and human connections are. Unlike some of my friends, I did not have to spend this time in solitude. However, it still had a profound impact on me. It reminded me of a simple truth:

By design, humankind is a social species; that has a fundamental need to belong.

Solitude for an extended period of time is not only unnatural, but it is also one of the harshest punishment humankind devised to punish one another (e.g. solitary confinement).

Sense of connections, purpose and power

Just like the leash connects the owner and the dog, we can imagine our social connections in the same way. Such connections between people are (mostly) invisible, but they are just as real.

Being connected to another person, group or community fulfils our primary need of belonging and roots us in the world.

Being part of a community comes with rights and responsibilities and can provide purpose and fills life with meaning. These connections also form an emotional and physical safety net empowering us to face the world. Like the small dog on a walk feeling powerful when connected to the human owner, we can feel the same strength when somebody figuratively stands behind us, let it be a partner, a relative, a close-knit community, or an organisation.

These leashes do not have to be between people necessarily. People can feel this sense of belonging, purpose and empowerment from being part of an ideology, nation, religion or supernatural entity, be it man-made, imagined or perhaps real. The more extensive the power of this entity, the more empowered one may feel at the other end of the leash.

The difference between dogs and humans is that while dogs cannot choose their owners, humans have much more agency in deciding on what leashes to put on when going through life.

As such, it is our responsibility to evaluate if the leashes on us are empowering us and meeting our needs for belonging and purpose or if perhaps they are too tight and leading as astray. Ultimately, having the right leashes on can make life wonderful and fulfilling, but choosing without care can lead to a life of misery and destruction, either of the self or others.

Look out for the little things in life

When you are in a park next time, look at the dogs on leashes and the dogs that are roaming free and pay attention to their behaviour. There is a lot to learn from small joyous beings. Definitely more than what we can teach them.

But more importantly, do make time to wonder about the little things in life. Just like the simple leash, common objects may hide insightful stories about humankind, our values and the narratives that we construct around us.